Anxiety & Overwhelm
Why Anxiety Looks Different in Women — and What to Do About It
It’s no secret that anxiety shows up differently for everyone. But for women, it often hides in plain sight — behind constant busyness, overthinking, people-pleasing, and that nagging sense that you “should be doing more.”
If you’ve ever found yourself lying awake running through tomorrow’s to-do list, replaying something you said hours ago, or feeling like your brain won’t stop scanning for what’s next, you’re not alone. Women experience anxiety disorders nearly twice as often as men. And while part of that difference is biological — hormones, brain chemistry, even genetics — much of it has to do with how women are taught to handle stress.
The Weight We Carry
Many women grow up learning to take care of everyone else first — to be the friend who checks in, the mom who remembers everything, the employee who goes the extra mile. Over time, that caregiving instinct can quietly turn into pressure: to perform, to please, to keep it together.
Anxiety thrives in that space between high expectations and limited energy. It’s not weakness. It’s your body and mind trying to cope with too much, for too long.
You might notice it as:
Mental exhaustion from constant rumination
Tightness in your chest or shoulders that never fully relaxes
Trouble focusing because your brain is juggling ten thoughts at once
Sleep that feels restless rather than restorative
Breaking the Cycle of Worry
When Everything Feels Urgent
When anxiety ramps up, everything starts to feel equally important — the unread email, the text you haven’t answered, the laundry pile, the future. Your mind tells you you can’t rest until it’s all handled. But the truth is, it never will be — and that’s okay.
Here are a few ways to interrupt that cycle:
1. Create space to worry — on purpose.
Schedule a short “worry window.” Write down everything swirling in your head, then walk away. You’re training your brain to trust that it doesn’t have to carry it all at once.
2. Ground your body before your thoughts.
Try the 5–4–3–2–1 grounding method: name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste. When you ground in the present, urgency loses its grip.
3. Ask: what’s actually important right now?
When everything feels urgent, nothing truly is. Use a simple filter: “Does this need my attention right now, or is anxiety trying to convince me it does?”
4. Move your body.
Anxiety lives in motion — so meet it there. A walk, stretching, even washing dishes can help discharge that nervous energy.
The Hidden Link Between Anxiety and Perfectionism
If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “Once everything is done, then I’ll relax,” you’ve probably met perfectionism.
Perfectionism isn’t about loving order — it’s about fear. Fear of being judged, misunderstood, or falling short. It often sounds like, “If I don’t give 110%, I’m failing.” But the truth? Perfectionism fuels anxiety more than it fixes it.
Here’s what that loop looks like:
You feel anxious → You set impossible standards → You work harder → You burn out → You feel anxious again.
To break the cycle:
Redefine “done.” 90% is often more than enough.
Do one thing imperfectly, on purpose. It’s a small act of rebellion against anxiety’s rules.
Notice your self-talk. Would you say those same things to a friend? If not, they don’t belong in your mind either.
Remember what matters. Progress. Connection. Rest. Not perfection.
What Healing Looks Like
Anxiety therapy isn’t about “getting rid of” anxiety — it’s about learning to understand it, work with it, and calm your body’s alarm system. Together, we help you:
Identify patterns that keep you stuck in overthinking
Build practical tools to manage overwhelm in real time
Learn how your body signals stress before it escalates
Reconnect to what steadies you — values, purpose, meaning
When anxiety stops running the show, you get your energy, your focus, and your peace of mind back.
Anxiety is incredibly common — but that doesn’t make it easy. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, nearly one in three adults in the U.S. will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their life, and women are almost twice as likely to be affected. Yet despite how common it is, many people wait years before reaching out for help.
Healing begins with understanding that anxiety isn’t a personal flaw — it’s a signal. Your brain and body are trying to protect you from something they perceive as a threat. Therapy helps you retrain that alarm system so it doesn’t go off every time life feels uncertain or demanding.
At Phases Virginia, we use evidence-based approaches (EBPs) — therapies that have been researched, tested, and proven to work. That means what you’re learning in session is grounded in real science, not just good intentions.
Here’s what that often looks like in practice:
🧠 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) — Considered the gold standard for anxiety treatment, CBT helps you identify and challenge the thought patterns that fuel worry. Research shows that around 60–80% of people experience meaningful improvement in anxiety symptoms with CBT-based interventions (Hofmann et al., 2012, Cognitive Therapy and Research).
🌿 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) — Instead of trying to eliminate anxious thoughts, ACT teaches you how to relate to them differently — with compassion and flexibility. Studies show ACT can significantly reduce anxiety, depression, and stress while improving overall psychological flexibility (Hayes et al., 2016, Behavior Therapy).
💫 Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) — Mindfulness helps calm the nervous system and improves emotional regulation. Research from Harvard and Johns Hopkins has shown MBSR can reduce anxiety symptoms by up to 30–40% and improve sleep quality and focus (Goyal et al., 2014, JAMA Internal Medicine).
💬 Interpersonal and Emotion-Focused Approaches — For many women, anxiety is intertwined with relationships and emotional suppression. Evidence-based relational therapies help you learn to express needs, set boundaries, and connect authentically without guilt.
Together, these methods create a treatment plan that’s as unique as you are — not one-size-fits-all, but personalized, structured, and collaborative.
When you understand your body’s stress response and learn how to regulate it, anxiety becomes manageable. You stop feeling like you’re fighting yourself. You start recognizing early warning signs, practicing grounding tools automatically, and moving through challenges without losing your footing.
Healing isn’t about “never feeling anxious again.”
It’s about trusting yourself to handle what comes next — calmly, clearly, and with confidence.
Finding Therapy for Anxiety in Virginia
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or caught in patterns of overthinking, help is closer than you think. Phases Virginia provides online anxiety therapy across the state of Virginia, offering evidence-based support for women, parents, and high achievers who want to feel more grounded and in control again. Whether you live in Northern Virginia, Richmond, Virginia Beach, Norfolk, Chesapeake, Roanoke, or Charlottesville, our licensed therapists specialize in helping you manage the effects of stress, perfectionism, and burnout with practical tools that actually fit your life. Therapy is fully virtual, private, and designed to help you slow your mind, calm your body, and reconnect with what matters most.
When to Reach Out
If your anxiety feels constant — if you’re always “on,” tired, or tense — it may be time to talk to someone. You don’t have to hit a breaking point to ask for support. Therapy can help you slow down enough to hear yourself think again.
🌿 Phases Virginia offers therapy for anxiety, perfectionism, and stress — designed for women, parents, and high performers across Virginia.
100% online. Rooted in evidence-based care. Grounded in real life.