Parent Checklist:
How to Talk to the School About Your Child’s Mental Health
Phases Virginia | Online Therapy Across Virginia
Support for Parents, Students, and Families Through Every Phase of Change
Before the Meeting: Prepare and Document
✅ Keep a log of absences, outbursts, or homework challenges — include dates, triggers, and your child’s emotional state.
✅ Gather teacher emails, grade reports, and progress notes that show consistent patterns.
✅ Collect any outside evaluations or therapy reports (with consent to share).
✅ Review your child’s existing supports (IEP, 504 Plan, behavior plan, informal accommodations).
✅ Write a short parent statement describing what you’ve observed at home — focus on changes in mood, sleep, motivation, or energy.
During the Meeting: Stay Calm, Clear, and Collaborative
✅ Start by saying: “I want to work together to support my child’s emotional health and learning.”
✅ Ask: “What has the school observed?” and “What supports are available right now?”
✅ Bring a list of specific needs (e.g., flexible deadlines, check-ins, quiet space).
✅ Request an evaluation in writing if you suspect ADHD, anxiety, depression, or other conditions affecting learning.
✅ Clarify who is responsible for next steps and set a timeline for follow-up.
After the Meeting: Document and Follow Up
✅ Send a thank-you email summarizing what was discussed and agreed upon.
✅ Keep all communication in one folder or digital file for easy reference.
✅ Mark your calendar for review dates (IEP/504 meetings, progress check-ins, reevaluations).
✅ Follow up if you don’t receive progress updates or see promised supports.
✅ Celebrate small wins and recognize improvements — this builds trust and confidence for your child.
What to Ask at Any School Meeting
What specific supports can be put in place now?
How will we measure progress?
Who should I contact if challenges increase?
Are there school counseling or check-in options available during the school day?
What’s the process to request a formal IEP or 504 Plan evaluation?
When to Seek Outside Help
If your child’s distress is persistent, worsening, or includes school refusal, it’s time to involve a mental health professional:
Contact your pediatrician, therapist, or counselor.
Ask about the Virginia Mental Health Access Program (VMAP), which connects families to mental health providers.
If your child expresses thoughts of self-harm, call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) for immediate support.
Download This Checklist
🖨️ Make it your own: print and add meeting notes, teacher names, and next steps.
📎 Use it during meetings to stay organized and confident when advocating for your child.
💡 Pair it with our guide: When Mental Health Affects School — A Parent’s Roadmap for Advocating Support in Virginia
About Phases Virginia
At Phases Virginia, we help parents and students navigate the emotional side of education. Our licensed therapists support families facing anxiety, school refusal, ADHD, and academic burnout—helping kids regain confidence and connection.
Phases Virginia | Online Therapy Across Virginia
Empowering Families, Students, and Schools to Thrive Together.