Who Am I Without the Game? Helping Student-Athletes Navigate Identity Loss During Breaks

Written By Whitney Houston

Did you know that 35% of elite athletes report symptoms of burnout, depression, or anxiety? For many young athletes, the end of a season isn’t just a pause in games—it’s a full stop to how they see themselves.

Without practices, team dinners, or the identity of being “the athlete,” it’s easy for teens to feel lost, restless, or even deeply sad. And while parents may think of summer or winter break as a time to relax, for student-athletes, it can quietly become a time of crisis.

Here’s what every parent needs to know—and how to help.

🎯 Startling Stats That Demand Attention

  • 35% of elite athletes experience mental-health concerns like burnout, depression, or anxiety—yet only 22% seek help (source).

  • Among college athletes, 25% report clinical depression, nearly double the rate of non-athlete peers (source).

  • A 2020 NCAA study of over 9,800 student-athletes found levels of mental exhaustion, anxiety, and depression remain 1.5–2x higher than pre-pandemic levels (source).

  • Another survey revealed that up to 44% of student-athletes feel overwhelmed—yet only half feel safe reaching out for help (source).

🙀 Why Parents Should Act Now

  • Breaks feel relaxing—until they don’t: As summer starts, teens often feel a rush of freedom. But without structure, that freedom can quickly turn into restlessness or emotional instability—especially for high-achieving students who define themselves through performance.

  • Unstructured time can feel like identity loss: Without the roles of "athlete," "honors student," or "leader," teens may quietly start wondering, Who am I now? This is a heavy, often silent question that many parents don’t see coming.

  • Transitions are a mental health hotspot: Whether it's the start of summer, winter break, or moving up a grade level, these natural life pauses can bring confusion, anxiety, and emotional vulnerability.

  • They’re not talking about it: Only 43% of student-athletes feel comfortable talking to coaches about mental health. Many fear being judged, appearing weak, or losing their spot on the team.

  • This is a window of opportunity: Summer offers space. It’s a chance to check in emotionally, explore therapy, and build resilience before the pressures of the next school year return.

🛠️ Parent Toolkit: How to Take Action

As a parent, your support can be the difference between a tough summer and a transformative one.

Start by acknowledging the shift: let your young person know it’s completely normal to miss the structure and the rhythm of the season.

Encourage them to set new, meaningful goals outside of sports—like reading, exploring creative outlets, or picking up part-time work. Help them stay socially connected by organizing casual meetups with teammates or encouraging FaceTime check-ins. If you notice signs of emotional struggle, consider booking a free consult—online therapy can be a gentle first step toward feeling better.

  • Spot warning signs: Mood swings, isolation, sleep changes, or falling grades.

  • Normalize the question: Help them ask, "Who am I without the game?" with curiosity, not fear.

  • Try online therapy: A flexible, private way to start talking.

  • Encourage new identities: From summer camps to creative projects, help them explore beyond sports.

  • Keep the team bond alive: Organize casual meetups or virtual chats to maintain social connection.

  • Support injury recovery emotionally: Physical injuries impact mental health too. Acknowledge both.

🌱 It’s Okay to Flounder: Growth Comes from the In-Between

As parents, it’s natural to want to fix things quickly—especially when your child is struggling. But not every uncomfortable moment needs a solution right away. Sometimes, it’s okay for your child to feel uncertain, unmotivated, or even a little lost.

Periods of identity loss—especially after the end of a sports season—can actually be fertile ground for growth. When your child asks, “Who am I without the game?”, it’s not a crisis to be solved, but a doorway to deeper self-understanding.

Floundering isn’t failure. It’s a sign they’re in transition.

The discomfort of not having all the answers can lead to creativity, resilience, and the courage to explore new parts of themselves. By letting them sit with those feelings (and letting them know you’re not afraid of their discomfort), you’re showing them that their worth isn’t tied to constant achievement.

As one of our therapists at Phases Virginia often says: “You don’t need to rebuild everything right away. Sometimes, you just need to rest in the pause.”

So yes—offer support. Yes—watch for warning signs. But also remember: it’s human to feel a little lost in the in-between. And with the right care and space, your child will come out stronger, more self-aware, and more grounded than ever before.

🏥 Expert Support for Virginia Families Online

At Phases Virginia, we specialize in helping teens navigate the emotional ups and downs of athlete transitions, identity loss, and school-life balance.

We offer Secure telehealth across Virginia via video, phone, or chat

Our expert therapists use evidence-based approaches like CBT, interpersonal therapy, and identity work to help student-athletes grow with confidence and resilience.

Explore more at phasesvirginia.com or visit our blog for localized support and insights.

🖚 Final Word for Parents

This summer might feel like downtime, but it can actually define your child’s emotional resilience. When the games stop, their identity doesn’t have to.

With the right support, they can turn this season of pause into a season of personal growth.

Need in-person or online therapy in Virginia?

Find purpose beyond the play. Reach out today. We’re here for student-athletes and their families.

🔗 Further Reading for Parents

Whitney Houston
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